Wow! You look GREAT! How'd you lose all that weight?

Having people say that to me is one of the most surreal conversations ...
I am so ill right now yet... I don't look sick ... I mean, I don't have a limb hanging off. But the weight loss is pretty scary.
At least to me, anyway.

My doctors tell me that this is how some viruses behave.... some people lose weight, like me. Other people gain weight or fluid. I can tell you from present experience that losing this much weight is NOT pleasant or comfortable. I feel like one of those shivery Chihuahuas... you know the ones? They wear little sweaters all the time and have huge fluffy beds to lay on?
Yeah, that's me right now. I make jokes about my "Chihuahua blanket" that I have to use at night to sleep on... it just hurts too much to lay on the mattress without it. And I am cold all of the time since I have lost all the fat.
It sucks. Don't go thinking -- oooh that is great! No fat! Noooo. Your body needs balance and without it -- well, things are very uncomfortable.

For awhile, I was worried I had cancer or a tumor or something really horrible.
I don't have cancer or a tumor, but I DO have something really horrible and it is called Lyme disease. I have Lyme and at least two other co-infections: Babesia and Bartonella. Babesia is awful -- they tell me that the symptoms are like Malaria and that they use Malaria medication to fight it. All I know is the awful cold spots I get that feel like I have a ball of burning ice inside parts of my body -- it is so cold that it burns. Sometimes I get spots over my vision or I can't get my eye to stay on one spot... the bone and joint pain gets really bad ... and the migraine pain is a 12 on a scale of 1-10. There's more stuff but I can't think about it right now -- too close to home and I need to get away from thinking about it.

So. Yeah, this is the sickest I have ever been. And up until about a month agao, I felt so alone... so scared... like I had dropped down a deep well and getting out looked impossible.
Until Dr. H and Dr. F.

Dr. H is a Lyme expert and worked at iGenex (THE lab for Lyme testing). He KNOWS Lyme and all of the co-infections, he knows how to read the blood tests, he knows the symptoms inside and out.
And he sent me to Dr. F. He called Dr. F the "architect"... which made no sense to me at the time but now?
I get it.
And Dr. F is my ticket out of this mess. More about him in my next post.